Sunday, February 14, 2010

Hallelujah!!

Just thought I'd share the news that I HAVE FINALLY BEEN RELEASED FROM PRIMARY!!

I had never taught in primary before. I had been a secretary in our primary in CA before we moved, but that was the first time in my life I had ever served in there. I guess I should have known I couldn't evade it forever.

The first year here in Utah I was called into Sunbeams and I tell you it was baptism by fire. I don't do small kids so well, and so of course put me in with the 3, 4, and 5 yr. olds. Never in my life have I dealt with a more difficult child than in that first class. She would bust out the door and run down the hall so fast I could hardly catch her, and then when I'd catch her just before she took off out the door she would start screaming, "You're hurting me!! You're hurting me!!" Could I just die? Pretty much. I would frequently go home and cry.

I know 3 yrs. doesn't seem like a long time to those who have spent a lifetime in primary, but for me it has been forever. This last year was the breaker for me. The Sunbeam teachers didn't show up most of the time and so they would just randomly end up in our CTR 5 class. After a couple of months or more of this I finally called to let them know that even though my exceedingly sweet co-teacher said it was fine, it was not fine by me. I needed to be asked beforehand. There were subs the next Sunday.

By the middle of the year I knew I had had enough. It was such a hard year and I felt like my cup was not just empty, but bone dry and beginning to crack. I found myself crying in Sharing Time. Finally I told one of the counselors they were welcome to call me in next year but I wouldn't be coming.
I know. Think what you want. Just know I don't feel guilty one bit.

So guess what? My name showed up on the teacher roll again the this year for the CTR 5's. At first I panicked, but then I remembered that no one could force me to do something I didn't want to do. It was certainly no secret I was done. Later that day I was told they were aware of my feelings and were "working on it."

I thought I had an out because Peter is Sunday School President and had talked about calling me in to teach the 12 yr. olds. When I pressed him he told me it wasn't going to work out because they had told Peter someone"had other plans" for me. So last Saturday we finally had a member of the Bishopric call at 9:30 at night wanting to come over. Was it too late? Should we do it another time? Heck no. Get over here now, I said.

He asked me to be a Cubscout den leader. Do I know anything about doing this? Not really. It has been a while since I even had a son in Cubscouts, but that doesn't matter. I don't care what they are calling me into so long as I'M BEING CALLED OUT OF PRIMARY.

The next day I was sustained in Scouts, but not released from primary. What gives??! So today was the last day. They released me. Officially. When a primary counselor came to thank me for all my work and to tell me how much they would miss having me in there I told her thanks, I wish I could say the same, but really not so much.
Was I supposed to lie?
I am wanting to split up the wolves and the bears so I can do my own thing with the my wolves and that has already generated objection.
All I have to say is if you don't want waves don't call me into your auxiliary.
Seriously.
Don't.

1 comment:

Sally said...

You totally have my support!! I've asked to be released more then once. As to Cubs, well I did all of them for 4 years and had a great time! At first I thought the leaders were a bit cultish. But then I got into it and had a blast! I think you'll love it.