The Good and the Bad

Rebecca has been drawing little cartoons every Monday to express her feelings about her most unfavorite day. Nathaniel says Monday always looks like a poop. 

Rebecca says that's because it is.

This was the scene Monday outside my front door after we got the driveway shoveled . . . again. Maybe we watch the wrong news station or maybe we're just up too high in Springville but the news often says we are not getting snow and we do anyway. Everyone is getting a little tired of it. It doesn't really bother me so much though I do have some healing blisters from shoveling and my hands are a little rougher now.

The last year of my life has been challenging to put it mildly. We've been through some hard things and Peter and I are now experiencing the post-trauma of more or less losing our house. Our realtor says there is an offer in the works, so that's great. You never know with a short sale. There are people over there everyday looking at it now. I think things are finally picking up again after the holidays. Whoever is drawing up the offer wants the swing set and trampoline, which is fine.

I've pretty much moved past losing the house and don't miss anything about it except for one thing-- my plants. I can see some of them starting to push up on warmer days. I invested so much time on my yard and I loved it. When I planted those things I never did so with the intention that I'd be leaving it so soon. Last year while in a miserable pregnant state I dug up all the tulips (again) from the front yard. The ones I didn't catch the previous year had majorly multiplied and I broke them all apart and replanted them all over my backyard beds. I won't even be there to see if they come up. I hope whoever moves in there doesn't think we resent them for it because I don't. I'm hoping myself we'll be able to get a smoking deal on a house when we are ready to buy again-- which by the way, won't be for a while as we're feeling a little gun-shy right about now. I just hope whoever buys the house takes care of the yard. I guess that's the trade off of living in the same neighborhood as your old house-- the continual reminder of what you left behind.

With all these emotions and Mondays and money struggles and teens that have suddenly turned into back-stabbing, eye-rolling alien beings, I don't always get a lot of positive reinforcement around here.
That's where this guy comes in:

Here is Will waiting for me to come out of the shower.

This guy is always happy to see me. I don't take long showers and I talk to him all the while through the curtain, but Will is SO excited when I step out. When I've been gone for an hour Sarah comes out to the garage with him on her hip waiting for me to come in and take him and he giggles with happiness that mommy is back--I love it. He gets that look like, "There's Mom! It's almost too good to be true!" 

It is wonderful to have someone happy to see me. I gotta say I love everything about this kid. Ok, maybe not some of the sleepless night, but most everything else.
I love the fuzz on the back of his head.
I love that little bald spot where the hair has been rubbed off from sleeping on his back (or from me kissing it-- can't be sure which.)
I love his pink cheeks, his fat fingers his little eyes (like mine!) his big cheeks and his gummy smile.
I love every part of him.
I even love changing his diapers. I was reading about a celebrity who was saying she loves the way her babies smell-- even pee diapers.
I get that.

During this not-so-easy-time Will has been such a bright spot for us. I'm so glad we decided to make the sacrifice to bring him into our family. How blessed I am to have him and all my other kids to love and watch them grow and interact with a baby in the house again.