He's two and don't we know it.

In today's news: Sweet peanut butter and jelly face 
hides inner demon of destruction.

Last week after an exhausting 7 hour cleaning marathon mostly centered in Rebecca's room Will managed discretely find a bottle of green nail polish, open it, paint it on body/ his clothes/ his hair and then dump it about on the carpet of two rooms which resulted in a lot of muttered cursing and nail polish remover and Goo Gone.The next day he found some bright red lipstick of Rebecca's (again with the carpet?) More internet searching, unrighteous muttering, carpet cleaner, Windex, and Spray&Wash. We used them all. (No photos. Too much fire coming out my eyes.)

John and Rebecca absolutely do not get the programming of a two-year-old. I am constantly finding scissors, markers, paint, etc. in both their rooms just waiting for Will to do awful things with them. Like cutting John's blanket or his own hair. (Check!) The threatening and confiscating and natural consequence of helping mom scrub carpets and walls until their arms ache doesn't seem to be having the desired effect. The outright banning of using these items isn't turning out to be practical. Maybe losing money or adding additional job duties?

Will can now climb out of his crib which has left us with many dilemmas. First was how to rig the door so he couldn't get out. Then we had to worry about him climbing about the room on top of furniture. I checked in on him one morning to find him sleeping soundly with his blanket right on top of the changing table feet of the ground. (Not safe enough to even risk sneaking a picture and having him startle awake and fall) so I just picked him up and deposited him on the bed. He was not pleased.

(Then I give up and he ends up in my bed.)

Peter took the front off his crib but often he just sleeps in the chair in his room.

  

Below is the TP on the garage floor that I retrieved after Will sucked it right off the roll in their bathroom (John got the hose out and left it unsupervised.) After frantic calling I learned the most likely place it would be and after disconnecting a pipe that led right into the unit out in the garage I reached in there and like some sick magic trick I was able to pull it out in one solid piece. 

Peter says I can now advertise myself in vacuum repair 

(maybe even at birthday parties?)