Pulling away...

 My sweet friends in our ward got together for our last "book group" as a send off. It was the end of an exhausting day for me and it really meant a lot.

This is the book they gave me. Everyone wrote in it. Very appropriate because they all knew I hadn't wanted to move and kept thinking we could put it off. 

Poor Rebecca said some pretty hard goodbyes. Sarah and I were sad for her.

While we were loading the van we bunked with my grandpa. This picture can't adequately show the amount of crap required to live for the approximately 2 weeks we estimated living out of suitcases. 

Then there was Peter's computer equipment, which he insisted had to be transported in the cars. Not even kidding this is what he packed into 3 cars.

He was working up until about 6:30 that night finishing up work & the two classes he was taking before he unplugged everything and finally started loading them up. We were all pretty well done. After an hour or so I gave up and took Will out for dinner.

Will not only lined up these sauces but then used them all and DRANK THE REST. 

Got back to the house where it was insanity and tension levels were at their peak. My poor brother Aaron helped us out so much I can't even express. We won't belabor the meltdown both Peter & I were having at this point. (I did not want to leave at 8:30 at night. Peter & the kids wanted to go.) Aaron literally stuck it out with us to the bitter end and then hung out at the house for an hour waiting for us to call him to tell him we'd forgotten something. We made it to Moab that night.

So many goodbyes I didn't want to do. So many people came by with cookies and meals and best wishes. The ladies in the ward showed up to help clean. My good friend Debbie drove up from Cedar City to help paint. You just can't cry for everyone you're having to say goodbye to or you'd fall apart so I tried to set those feelings aside while I did what I had to do. 

Saying goodbye to Aaron & my grandpa was more difficult than I want to discuss, but suffice it to say it was hard. I semi-held it together the best I could until I was alone in the car caravaning behind Peter & Sarah. 

 I swear I cried most of the way to Texas. 

Utah was the place I planned on having my daughter graduate from high school and where I had pictured in my mind a thousand times seeing Nathaniel come home off the plane in Salt Lake City from Peru. This is where we were going to have him visit all the time on weekends while he was going to BYU. Utah was where I could see myself living all happy and content for the rest of my life. My only comfort was that I knew we were doing the right thing for the right reason and I never really doubted that after we made the decision. Life is funny that way.

My good friend Michelle texted me something after we left. She has a daughter on a mission in Brazil who wrote, "There's no growth in the comfort zone and no comfort in the growth zone."  
I guess we're all in for some growing.