37 going on 77.

I've officially reached the hard part of pregnancy. When people talk about pregnancy and the difficulties associated with it I can always name, hands down, the most challenging part for myself, just trying to breathe.

It happens early on in my pregnancy, which has something to do with capillaries, and blood flow, and hormones. Then I get somewhat of a respite for a couple of months and then it's back with full force. I get so claustrophobic I feel like tearing off all my clothes. Maybe I shouldn't mention this but I've only worn a bra twice in the last couple of weeks. It's way too constricting.

Very hard for me to believe that only a month and a half ago I was wandering about Newport without gasping for air. In the last six weeks I haven't been able to go for a walk at all and I think being so sedintary amplifies the pregnancy related discomforts considerably. All I know is that after I have made a round in the grocery store I actually feel like I'm going to throw up if I don't sit down. I can barely stand long enough to do the dishes. What the heck?

Carting groceries from the car into the house? Hefting laundry baskets up and down stairs? Forget it. I have a hard enough time just moving the laundry from the washer to the dryer. I see people in their eighties that move better than I do.

I can't weed, clean John's room, vacuum the stairs, put new sheets on the bed, or fetch things from the basement. The list goes on and on. I panic when I get left alone with John and his friends because I don't feel like I can adequately supervise them. I write lists for the kids and listen to them gripe. Not that any other moms would know about this but by the time I explain what I want them to do they've forgotten what it was I wanted.
It is exhausting and makes me want to cry.

I guess it's good practice for when the baby comes because I don't know if it will get much better. My doctor says I'm going to need to get in the pool as soon as I get this boot off (which is in a week!) or my recovery after baby is going to be a lot harder. I'm very much hoping that helps.

And all you friendly folks that keep asking me if we are planning on having another baby so little Will won't be lonely? Now really isn't the time to ask.