April 2020 A clip of the last 4 years.

I feel like I should be starting this with some new inspiration, but the truth is that I've been thinking of doing this again for months now. This time it is for me and my kids, not extended family and friends. The kids always wondered why I stopped blogging. I'm pretty sure I can say why. It's because there wasn't a lot I wanted to blog about. Things were rough with Rebecca and John with regards to school and making friends. Sarah was somewhat lonely and out of place having missed her senior year at Springville High School and it was just tough. She went off to BYUI and eventually married a boy a missionary from our ward we first moved into here in Texas. The weather, the culture, the remoteness from family, all of it just really created an environment that fostered a lot of depression and anxiety for my kids, and really for myself as well. Peter's job was very different than it had been presented to us and it wasn't long before I suspected they were not going to send us to Switzerland after all. I finally pressed him to press them and after some back and forth miscommunications they ultimately admitted he wasn't going. By this point there were few people left in the international tax department anyway, and when Peter left he was the only one left. That last Christmas party for his work was an eye-opening experience as many of the women wore little, the conversation was juvenile and petty and everyone wanted to drink. I thought, this really can't be good for Peter. He is hating it here. During that same year I kept getting migraines, something that generally only happened to me once or at most twice a year, but these were frequent and miserable. During one all-nighter throwing up binge I sat up to vomit once again after laying for so long Peter thought I had gone to sleep finally. (I still had hours of misery left.) He asked if I thought he should take me to the emergency room. I said no, it was too expensive, I didn't feel like I could leave the house and I doubted they could really do anything for me anyway. I did continue to go to school and take classes at this time. It was during this that I made the decision to do the online BYUI Public Health BSN degree. I just kept taking the classes I was enrolled online for with SLCC and then moved over to BYUI until we had residency and then I applied to ACC. So I've been going to school pretty solid since then.

It just didn't pan out for Rebecca in the long run. We had a short stretch of time during her sophomore year where she landed a lead in the school play, loved her director, and made friends with the other costars. She was incredible and won all kinds of awards and then it ended after they went to state. The teacher was fired, the las curtain went down, and it was over. From that point forward things never really picked back up, while back in Utah her friends went on to do all the normal things in high school and change and move in new directions without her. Her junior year I'd consider not the worst, but not the best. Her grades were pretty good and she did fairly well in school overall, even though she had to do a few summer school classes. But the senior year? Not so well. She ended up going to an accelerated school called New Hope that was part of the district and she busted through that pretty quick and the next thing we knew we were putting her on a plane for Utah. She married her sweetheart of the last 4 years in an incredibly beautiful wedding in August.

John has been another story. He has made friends here and there. Unfortunately his best friend moved away to Dallas this summer, so that was a huge bummer because he was his only good LDS friend. He struggled through junior high. For a while he thrived fairly well in band. Never totally took to it like we hoped and practiced on his own. He did fair and his concerts were fun to go to. In the end, after 3 years in band (6th-8th) he refused to do it for 9th grade, which is what we really wanted him to go into band in the first place for. We wanted him to have those fun experiences in an extracurricular activity and be with kids who are doing something other than going home and playing video games or hanging out on their phones. Plus, we wanted him to feel a part of the show. Glenn High School went to state this year and that was kind of a killer for Peter and I because we felt like John could have been there. We so want him to participate in something that would be good for him but we haven't found that thing yet. After the church separated from scouts we looked at other troops but the only one he really found appealing meets 15 miles or more away well into Austin, which wasn't going to work. He could be driving soon if he wanted to finish up his driver's education course and get his permit. Then he could potentially drive himself. He'll be 16 very in 10 days.

Nathaniel and Nancy's baby is due here on Tuesday (April 14) and if our Lil' Nacho isn't here by then, which I'm hoping he is, then they're going to induce her then. I was supposed to fly out there on April 23 to go to Nancy's graduation and see the baby- In fact I still have the ticket. But with Covid 19 here and Nancy's graduation being cancelled I think it's about 90% that I won't go. In the meantime Peter is disappointed we won't be seeing the baby. I pretty well resigned myself to that once the kids school was cancelled, they pulled me out of clinicals and we decided not to fly to my parent's house in Washington for spring break. It was pretty clear to me then things were not going to be the same for a while and as long as the baby gets here safely I'm okay with that. We are really blessed to have so many things. Employment for one thing. Not a day goes by without me thinking about that multiple times. We've struggled with financial crises so many times in our marriage I'll never take it for granted again. I'm able to be in school and on track to graduate in December, barring that I fail out or the apocalypse comes, which hasn't seemed so far-fetched recently. We have this great house that is really perfect for our needs. And Sarah and Sage live about a quarter of a mile away. I'm so grateful because they are the only one of my married kids we live close to anymore.

And also? Texas is beautiful right now.