I have lousy hair.
Don't try to empathize with me because you simply can't.
Sorry, not to be rude, but trust me, you can't.
It is very rare, almost never, that I see someone with as thin of hair as I have. As a kid my hairdresser used to think I would eventually grow out of it. So did I. Unbelievably, it has only gotten even thinner.
It stinks. I can never just get up and go. It is like a cyclone hit my hair in the night. It is so thin it rats up while I sleep and sticks straight up in all different directions in the morning.
There has never been a single day in my life where I could just throw up my hair in a ponytail. It does not grow long enough to do that and if it ever could the ponytail would be like 1/4 in thick and would look ridiculous. I have permed it, cut it, colored it, taken hair vitamins, got extensions and bought expensive hair-thickening shampoo. All for naught--Cute hair is not to be for me. (hee hee--that rhymes!)
I had a friend in my last ward with hair like mine. She referred to it as spider webs. Perfect analogy, I thought. Like spider webs. Exactly.
So today I showered, I blow dried, I flat-ironed, I curled it down, I curled it up. I flat ironed again. It was not cute. It was disastrous. I resigned myself to not being cute today.
Then, I put on a hat. I thought it looked cute. I would be very model of sophistication in my hat. No one would even suspect the fright lurking underneath.
Peter comes in and says, "Bad hair day, huh?"
I say, "What do you mean? You don't think it looks cute?"
Peter says, "Too late for me to take it back now."
Too true, too true.
Peter, I will have you know someone in my class today complimented me on my hat.