Friday, January 29, 2010

Redneck town

I know I live in an area of rednecks simply from all the dead animals I see in the windows I drive by at night. During hunting season it is not uncommon for us to see a truck ahead of us with a dead dear or elk hanging its head out the side. At first it was a little shocking, but now we just laugh.

True story: When we first moved here a neighbor friend of mine mentioned in passing that their pet pheasant had just been startled by a dog and leaped up, whammed its head on the top of the cage, and died.
"Oh no," I said.
"It's all right," she said, "We have it at home in the crock pot."
This is the same neighbor who got a licence to shoot an elk, then went out and popped herself off a huge one. They got a family picture in front of it with all six kids, just beaming proud of their mom. (I may have told you this story before--I just love it too much.) Then one day I walked over to borrow something and there were legs sticking out of the trash. Her husband had butchered his deer right there in their backyard-- in a wheelbarrow. No I am not lying. So when I told the kids they said they already knew because all those crazy redneck boys they have over there were running around in the front yard with those same legs! I swear to you these boys are so unbelievable. They are lean, impervious to cold, and mean as the day is long.

My other friend has some massive animal her husband shot in Africa jutting out of this giant wooden stand she has to have in her living room just because it won't fit anywhere else. She is one good wife, I'll tell you. I'd have myself a bonfire in the backyard. The whole hunting thing I can tolerate, but please just don't bring it home and put it up on your wall-- especially in the half dozens. Have I mentioned before how I love that Peter does not hunt as a hobby? Or endlessly watch sports? I love my computer/tax nerd to death. It makes me hot on him just to watch Dwight on "The Office."

There are other rednecky things here too, but I don't really mind. I like them just fine--some of the most honest people I've known. No pretenses here. I had to laugh though last night at Nathaniel's basketball game when one of his exceedingly redneck coaches huddled the players around and said they were being too predictable with their passes, "They knew where we was gonna pass the ball before we's even passed it!"

I had to commit that one to memory immediately just so I could write a post about it. I am telling you I need to get a picture of these coaches. The head one is hilarious. Lily and I text endlessly about her desire for him. Last night he also told the boys if any of them wanted to pay the fancy photographer 15 bucks for a picture out in the lobby they would go ahead and set up a time. Those manly boys all eagerly agreed they didn't need no pro-fess-e-o-nal fo-tog-ra-fer. We'll just take the picture with someone's camera, make copies at Walmart, and git 'er done just like that.
Now that's my kind of thinking!


Lily DuRose said...

git er done!
that's always been my motto.

Sally said...

Did you offer to take the photo? That would put you in good with them there coaches.

Cristin said...

Finding legs sticking out of the trash?!?! EW!!

Meg said...

LOL! I love it! Hilarious!