Thursday, July 14, 2011

Musing on a blissful day

Peter is in California with the girls and yesterday I took Nathaniel to the airport to visit my dad. After watching him go through security I spent the rest of the day texting and calling him to make sure he was getting on the right transit from Oakland to Santa Rosa, then switching from bus to bus, and finally being picked up by Aaron.
My dad sent me this text, "the package has arrived. it is eating."
That leaves John and I. Just John and I.
And though John is a most labor intensive child I am still very much enjoying this.
Today after kicking the tooth-grinding John out of my bed at 7:30 this morning, I got up, took 2 Advil for my sore legs, got back in bed and slept until ten. Then I spent the next hour on my computer reading the news and then proceeded onto celebrity gossip. Yesterday was Hugh Grant and today was Meg Ryan. Strange lives these people lead. Moved onto some PB&J toast while watching another episode I DDR of the new digitally-remastered WWII series of never before seen film. So good. I'm still in my pajamas and would really like these three parentally neglected neighborhood kids to leave my house. In fact I think I'll throw them out now.
OK, so they're out.

I keep thinking there are things I should be doing. Like going through my giant pile of to-be-filed. But I haven't. I know this is optimal time to work on my quilt I started last January, which I want to do, but I just like sitting here. The house is in pretty good shape. I've cleaned bathrooms, done dishes, laundry, etc. But everything is so much easier when you take four people out of the equation! I have so much free time!
I could go and paint my kitchen right now and John could care less. No one will be asking me why I am doing it (again), why I chose that color for it, or when I am making dinner. This is why I start these projects when I'm alone. No one to question me.

As moms I think this is one of the most exhausting things we deal with--the constant barrage of questioning. If you're a mom, you know exactly what I mean.
"Who was that on the phone?"
"Why are you wearing that? Are you going somewhere?"
"Can Lea come over?"
"When are we going to order those jeans?"
"Why can't I stay out later?"
"Did you call the piano teacher?"
"When is dad coming home?"
"When are you going to be back?"
"How long is this going to take?"

You know how this is. There is basically no end to it. It is like someone is always there expecting you to give a play by play of every movement you make, the reasons behind it, and what your next movement is going to be. Except that they have opinions and criticisms on it all.
Throw on top of this the questions we get for no reason.
"Do you think I should get a Ferrari or a plane when I grow up? How much are planes? About a million dollars? More? Less? Do you think they take a lot of gas?"
Like I know?

On Sunday I had already been pelted with different questions/demands/new updates in just the few moments after we sat down and was trying to will myself into a place of peace before Sacrament Meeting started and Peter turns to me to ask, "What is that big red spot behind your ear?"
I know the family sitting behind us probably overheard me turning to everyone and saying, "Will you all please just shut up?"
I really try not to say shut up. I almost never do. Except that it felt right just then. In the chapel.
I'll do better next time.

So instead of doing something productive I thought I'd just blog about how wonderful it is that I am sitting here in my pajamas at 12:30 in the afternoon thinking about what I could be doing but am not. Things are so wonderfully unscheduled and peaceful around here
I can't help but think,
this summer is going by
way too fast.

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