Me: Peter, which would you rather be? An official butt-scratcher or a marriage counselor?"
Peter: Who's butt would I be scratching?
Me: I don't know. Anyone's who needed it I guess.
Peter: Do I get paid?
Me: Yes. I'm talking about an official job.
Peter: Do I have to use my hands? Or can I use gloves or some metal object?
Me: I don't know. Too many questions.
Peter: I'm leaning towards the butt-scratcher.
Me: I was thinking you were.
Me: How about between being a marriage counselor and a wedding planner?
Peter: Are you reading something?
Peter: I guess wedding planner. I'd change my name to Franck and wear a scarf.
And this is why we have marital issues.