Monday, September 8, 2008


Today I feel sad. Or maybe lonely. Or maybe just old.

Today I sat among shiny straight forks. All the dumb blondes in my classes were clearly faking and are actually really smart.

Don't get me wrong, I have zero jealousy for the time these young people are in their lives. I am grateful beyond words to be done with that season of life. I've had my kids. I am done with diapers and nobody wails when they see my bosoms because they are hungry. Peter says the next time he holds a screaming baby it will be his grandchild and he can give it back. 

I don't have to date (hallelujah!!). I never have to plan my wedding again, or meet my in-laws-to-be or go through the super-fun first year of marriage. I get to live with people I want to (most of the time) and I'm not starving through school. Instead of living in a basement with mold growing on the walls I get to live in a nice house. My husband is done with college. Not to mention that I have a car and my own washer and dryer.

But I don't know anyone and everyone else seems to. I wish I could take one of my kids with me to talk to because they are my present friends. I think I'm naked without them.

I know you are thinking that it is going to be fine and bla bla bla. I know that too and I am still thrilled to be in school. Only now is now and for today I feel like the bent fork.


Meg said...

I'm glad to know I am not the only one who has those days! I think you are a very brave bent fork, to go back to school! At least your not a bent spork - that's the worst!

Bonnie said...

AAAH poor you! Not! poor all of them who have to go through all the problems you've already listed and been through! And as the movie quote says, "you'll make friends!"

Amy said...

I'm proud of you and Amen to not being single, poor, and riddled with the drama of that stage of life anymore. Now I'm married, poor, but happy and content!